Scene: Florida State Fairgrounds, walking through the crown, a midget with a briefcase followed closely by an extremely attractive woman gnawing on a bear claw pastry. The midget is wearing a three piece suit and sunglasses. He could easily see up the skirt of the woman following him. She’s wearing little in the way of clothes. When she bends over to pick up a quarter, you can easily see where babies come from. She’s got a bare mid section, with a bright red top that matches the skirt. Both appear as if they were sprayed on. The most impressive contrast to the midget in the three piece suit is her hair, which rises at least a foot and a half above her head in a sort of beehive. She too, is wearing sunglasses. She trots behind the midget in the three piece suit, chewing her bear claw and deftly avoiding passers-by in her high heels.
All around people are playing games, riding the rides, getting bear claws and cotton candy. Across the fair, the 4-H judging has begun. Pedro walks to the front of the podium to view the pigs that have been presented for judging. He’s wearing blue jean overalls and combat boots. Also, aside from his straw hat, he’s got a green sash across his chest that says ‘Judge.’ Pedro leans down to inspect a swine. He pulls gently on it’s tail and slaps it roughly on the belly. He pushes the pig onto a digital scale. When the final poundage is displayed, the small crowd claps lightly. Pedro smiles and moves on to the next pig. He pulls on the pigs tail, slaps it’s belly and pushes it onto the scale. The digital readout again elicits a slight clapping from the crowd. Some people spit tobacco juice on the ground in appreciaton. Someone brings in a fresh blueberry pie and starts handing out slices with their bare hands. Pedro squints as the tent flap opens and there is a momentary reflection of light from the woman’s top covering her massive breasts. Pedro pauses for a moment, leading the crowd with his eyes to the pair that has just entered the tent, as well as the midget in the three piece suit. Both of them still wearing sunglasses. The woman stops chewing her bear claw for a second. Pedro pushes another pig onto the scale. The ding of the digital readout brings the crowds attention back to the front. They clap lightly and Pedro wraps a blue ribbon around the pigs neck. Clapping ensues.
Pedro gestures at the woman as he ducks out the back of the tent. She weaves her way through the crowd and ducks out the back of the tent as well. This is actually a very awkward activity for her, to lift up the tent flap and attempt to put her beehive through before her body, while balancing on heels. She drops her bear claw. She is still struggling to lift the flap high enough to duck under it without hitting her hair when the midget in the three piece suit comes from around the front of the tent to face Pedro, who can do nothing but stare at the woman, who is now coming out of the tent with her rear first. The midget does not turn to look at the fine prize she is presenting. Pedro however, having just finished judging pigs, reaches out and is about to either pull her non-existent tail or pinch her snatch, when she falls through, landing square on her ass. Pedro turns back to face the midget in the three piece suit. He’s looking at Pedro’s knees.
Pedro nods in the direction of the House of Mirrors. A huge ‘closed’ sign hangs across the entrance. All three of them start walking in that direction. In front of the House of Mirrors, the midget in the three piece suit hands Pedro the briefcase and takes off his sunglasses. His eyes seem to not be focused on one spot, and they also seem to glow. Pedro ignores this fact as he opens the briefcase. All is in order. The woman has also taken off her sunglasses to reveal the strange glowing eyes. This, Pedro notices. He also notices that the size of her nipples are similar to the diameter of a can of tuna. The midget takes off his jacket and slings it over his shoulder. The woman pulls a .38 revolver from within her beehive. They both walk into the House of Mirrors. Pedro sticks two fingers in his mouth and whistles loudly. A tool shed next to the House of Mirrors bursts open and a stream of angry looking penguins comes rushing out. In two single file lines, they stream into the House of Mirrors. The last one in line stops in front of Pedro. He hands the Penguin the briefcase. Screaming begins to erupt from within the House of Mirrors, screaming that cannot be heard more than ten feet away over the sounds of the fair in the background. No-one passing by seems to notice the penguin holding a briefcase either. The screaming stops. There is a bright flash of light from within the House of Mirrors. When Pedro looks down, the penguin holding the briefcase is gone, and no-one is coming out of the House of Mirrors.
On his way back to the 4-H tent, Pedro is stopped by celebrity Judge Tom Selleck, who was late for the event. “Where can I get one of those sash’s?” He asks Pedro. Pedro smiles and hands Tom his sash. He doesn’t need it anymore.